A HYPOTHESIS OF EVERYTHING PART 1 – YOU ARE HERE

Chapter 2. YOUR GRATITUDE SUPERPOWER

Part 2 of 2

So why aren’t we doing gratitude? I already told you. The answer is fear, entitlement, and the notion that something is wrong or lacking sufficiency or fairness. There is no space for gratitude to occur inside of a life of complaints, lies, excuses, and listening to the inner dialog of personal insufficiency. The default mode of the human condition is to avoid domination and responsibility. It takes work to practice gratitude. But at least it’s not something totally foreign. We can take small steps and become more proficient in the art of a life worthy of living as a generous expression of gratitude. It impacts your life, your future, your family, your community, and beyond.

My sister Teresa was born at a leper colony in Burundi because it was the closest hospital to where my missionary parents lived at the time. Leprosy is not an automatic seal of death. Yes, the chances of dying from it increase a little, but the disease is entirely treatable. The biggest problem with leprosy is that it affects the body visibly. Historically, people with it were labeled “unclean” and ostracized from society. In the middle ages, leprosy victims had to wear clothes that made them quickly identifiable and had to carry a bell to announce their presence. Other impacts of leprosy included loss of employment, social rejection, disowned by the family, and generally considered distrustful and immoral. As cultures and societies understand leprosy, leper colonies slowly disappear, and victims become partially integrated with some unspoken social limitations. And, no. Teresa never had leprosy.

There’s a story in the New Testament of the Bible about ten lepers that Jesus healed. Two identity groups are mentioned – “unclean” lepers and Samaritans, who were also commonly rejected and treated with prejudicial disdain. If you want to read it, look up Luke 17:11-19. Jesus was traveling near the border of Galilee and Samaria. Ten lepers met him and, of course, socially distancing themselves, called out to Jesus. “Jesus, Master, have pity on us.” So Jesus gave them a task. “Go and show yourselves to the priests.” As the ten men took action, they were “cleansed” from their leprosy. The impact is that they were no longer ostracized. Life went back to normal. They could find jobs, go back to their families, start dating, get married, shop, and do business without being marginalized like infectious zombies.

One of them, when he saw that the leprosy was gone, returned to where Jesus was. Enthusiastically praising God, threw himself at the feet of Jesus and thanked him. The story reveals that this person was also a Samaritan, another identity group of outcasts. The inference is that the other nine were Galilean like Jesus and felt sufficient entitlement not to return and give thanks. 

Jesus expressed his surprise that the only one of the ten to return with gratitude was a foreigner and acknowledged his faith and sent the man on his way.

Sometimes, I randomly ask my friends what they are thankful for and occasionally receive the response, “I don’t have any reason at the moment to be thankful.”

Of course you don’t. Gratitude is made up. Being thankful is an act of creating from nothing. It requires something from you.

Are you a person that deserves everything in life to be handed to you freely and bitter when something goes wrong – like not finding a parking space or ending up at the back of the line? How is the experience of being that way?

If culture is similar to that story in the Bible, you’re in the majority – the 90 percent. Only one person out of ten isn’t so entitled to deny themselves the pleasure of being thankful. Don’t you think that it’s worth the effort? 

Note: There is a direct correlation between the eagerness to practice gratitude and the company we keep. People can suck the life out of us if we let them – especially if you tend toward being codependent. It may be necessary to distance yourself from these people, at least emotionally, so that you can give yourself space to heal with gratitude. As you transform your own life, they will also be drawn into the infection of a life that they can also love. 

PRACTICAL GRATITUDE EXERCISES

Exercise one – Gratitude Zones: For example, we all have to go to the bathroom. You most likely have privacy when you do it. For some of you, it’s the only privacy you have during your day. Make it your gratitude zone. It doesn’t need to be significant with a long list or a pious prayer time. Just think of a couple things for which you are thankful. Simple.

If you have multiple bathrooms that you use during the day, such as work and home, just choose one to start. For example, when I worked as a DJ at bars and clubs, every urinal was my gratitude zone. My first thought of thankfulness was that I had a job. And then I would usually think of someone I worked with or a client that was a blessing to me that day or week.

The point is – a place that I went to frequently became somewhere sacred. I didn’t let the stupid judgmental voice in my head or superego dominate my valuable alone-time. It was reserved for gratitude. Find your “gratitude zone.”

Exercise two – Six plus one (6+1): This exercise is a list of seven things. Write down six things you are thankful for every day and one regret you have for which you can forgive. It might be an event that brought you shame. Your one item can also be someone else or group that you forgive. If you don’t write that one down on your list, that’s ok. It’s the one thing that is probably shouting at you most of your day anyway. Practice forgiving yourself. 

If your mode of thanksgiving is being thankful that the world didn’t beat you up today, use that. Think of six ways the world didn’t kick your ass and start noticing how your brain remaps your thinking.

Remember that it is YOUR list. Repeat items on your list as often as you want.

Exercise three – Make a reminder to yourself when you wake up to be thankful. When you begin your day with gratitude, you unlock your brain to be receptive to positive things. You are more alert to opportunities and have a generally happier day.

Exercise four – Gratitude by giving gifts: Sometimes, I like to show gratitude by giving a gift or a card because I’m grateful and want to share it in a special way. I also notice that it creates a context of thanksgiving for them too, and they get to celebrate that moment by connecting with me and thanking me. It’s a happy space to experience together. HOWEVER. If you tend toward codependency, your motives can be contaminated, as will be the experience of receiving your gift. Check yourself and your heart before choosing this exercise that you are genuinely thankful. You could be giving something to buy a future favor or make up for what you did in the past. Remember that gratitude and “something is wrong here” or not good enough can’t share the same thought nor the same gift.

Exercise or effort is what you do to form a habit. Habits are what you have that form behavior. Behavior shows who you are and how the world listens to you and perceives you.